Signs

A year ago I was on a quest. It was a quest to look good. I had visions of looking like a Hollywood movie star. Of course, as my mother affectionately pointed out when I was a mere sprout of a girl, “You’re built like a bison.” So, I knew I would never be petite, but thin and relatively toned seemed attainable. Then Thanksgiving came… and Christmas… and New Year’s…. several birthday parties… Saint Patty’s Day… End of the year school parties…. And well… you get the idea. Around every corner I found another excuse to give myself a free pass on points. But now that my “skinny pants” are more than a tad snug, I think it’s time that I jumped back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon and renew my commitment to “The Quest”.  If any one of the following has ever happened to you, it might be time you joined me in my quest.

  1. Your five year-old poked your stomach and said, “Mommy, when you look like that it means you have a baby in your belly.”
  2. While shopping with your husband, you held up a pair of pants in your size and your husband said, “Wow, those look huge!”
  3. You were folding laundry, when your son walked in and asked, “Are those pants yours or Dad’s?”
  4. You noticed the server in the school cafeteria giving you a funny look as you went through the line. Moments later, she stopped a fellow teacher and asked, “Hey, is she pregnant again?”
  5. Even after pointing out that it wasn’t polite, the five year-old repeated, “I’m sorry, Mommy, but it really looks like there’s a baby in there!”

They’ve all happened to me. Sad but true. By the looks of things, either I have made some incredibly poor wardrobe choices lately, or I need to lay off the Dairy Queen and Doritos. If I keep going at this rate, by the time I have to go back to work in the fall, I’ll have blown all my money on Peanut Buster Parfaits. There won’t be any room in the budget for new “fat pants”. So, that’s it.  I have no choice! I’m renewing my commitment to “The Quest”. If Lynn Redgrave, Fergie (the duchess, not the pop star) and Jennifer Hudson can do it, so can I. Rice cakes and carrot sticks, here I come… tomorrow!

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