Tag: Advice

How Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

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I recently competed in the International Speech Contest in one of my Toastmasters clubs. I was fortunate enough to win not only the club contest, but also the Area and Division Level contests. Last weekend, I had the rare opportunity to compete against the best speakers from eight other divisions in District 40 Toastmasters, one of whom was my husband.  While I didn’t win that round, I can honestly say my speech improved with every presentation and based on the comments I received, it still touched a few hearts and brought a few laughs. Below is the blog version of my competition speech.

How Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

I teach in an affluent middle school with over 1,000 kids and I live with a 5th and an 8th grader. And those children are forever telling me how tough their lives are. Like when I assign them homework or ask them to take a shower… #FirstWorldProblems They think I’m soooo lucky to be an adult. And they’re right. I am very fortunate. But we all know life is never without challenges. Like many of you, I have traveled a pretty rough road.

When I was a baby, my mom called me a spider monkey because I was a long, skinny preemie. I weighed just under four pounds and I spent the first of month of my life in the hospital.

By the time I was one or two, it was obvious that I wasn’t developing quite like other kids. I tripped over my own feet and couldn’t control the left side of my body. I was diagnosed with mild Cerebral Palsy. I was clumsy and awkward. I was the kid who wore special shoes. I was the kid who couldn’t run fast and never got picked for kick ball in gym class. I was the kid voted most likely to get stuck in the ball pit at Sea World. No, really, when I was four, I actually got stuck in the ball pit at Sea world. #TrueStory It took two dumbfounded teenage employees twenty minutes to drag me out!

In high school, one kindhearted young man used to walk by me in the halls and growl “ARGH, me peg-leg! And in Spanish class, they used to draw pictures of Super Chicken on the board with a speech bubble that read, “Me llamo Ana.” They made up a dance and everything. Because they said I walked like a chicken. Needless to say, those things didn’t exactly foster self-confidence. (Side note: Yes, I chose the name Ana so that I could be Anna Devane.) #GeneralHospital

When I was seven, my dad decided to divorce my mom. Since I’d listen to my parents fight for years, it was really a relief to be with just my mom. But that still meant I became the child of a single parent. We no longer had the money to buy the name brand clothes and toys. So, I was not only physically handicapped, I was fashion handicapped too. #TeenNightmare Later, while my college friends were bumming money from their parents to go shopping or out to lunch, I was working multiple jobs to pay for my books, insurance, clothes, and food, and helping my mother pay the rent.

When I do tell my kids stories from my childhood, they tend to stare back in wide-eyed horror. #SpoiledButDontKnowIt And I have to remind them that while I may have hit a few potholes, I also saw some beautiful sights and learned a few lessons on the road of life.

First, I learned to work hard. I learned to studied hard, I showed up and gave my best effort, even on my worst day. I made mistakes, but I learned from my mistakes. I got grit.

I also learned to surround myself with the right people. I wasn’t popular in school. I had about two friends. But those two friends were true friends who loved me for everything I was, and maybe everything I wasn’t. I was also fortunate to find people like my high school English teacher, Debi Mansour,  who gave me my first and only D on a paper. Like most of my students, I thought my life was over. I was so mad at her! It took me a while to realize that she did it because she loved me and knew I was capable of more. It’s thanks to others like her, my karate instructor, my dance teacher, my husband, and my closest coworkers, that I’m reminded to focus on what I can do, what I do well, rather than what I can’t. They believe in me but push me to be better every day.

Lastly, I learned to love and respect myself. I used to think I was a total weirdo because I played with Barbie dolls way longer than most kids and one summer I kept a journal with the happenings of three different soap operas. Seriously, who does that? I still love soaps. I go to conventions to meet the stars. Several times a year. So, I’m a little eccentric. But I realize now the “crazy” are what fuel my creativity and heighten my sense of drama. They’re the things that make me a better writer and a more interesting teacher. They’re the things that make me who I am, the things that make me happy. If others think it’s weird, well… As my grandma used to say, “If they don’t like it, they can look the other way.”

Life will never be without struggles. But be willing to accept the challenges. In the long run, the fight is what builds character. Find the people who challenge you and support you, and if you want to be happy with life, be happy with yourself.

As for me, I’m proud of who I am and what I have accomplished. I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, and a published author. I have learned and taught ballroom dance and earned a brown belt in Kenpo karate. Okay… it’s not a black belt. But I’ve come long way from that timid girl called Super Chicken. Folks, this chicken has crossed that proverbial road, bumpy as it was, and you all can, too. Join me on the other side!

Writing in the Rain

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img_3321What do you do when your plans of hiking and enjoying the natural beauty of Hocking Hills are rained out? Easy. You visit the local winery, grab a pizza at a nearby restaurant, then find a cozy spot in front of the fire and catch up on all the things you’ve been wanting to do since school started last fall. You nap, you read a good book (The Rumor by Elin Hilderbrand) and you finally get back to writing, or at least editing the messy draft you abandoned back in August.

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Of course, that last part, while a productive use of time, was not exactly what I’d call relaxing. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Part of the reason I’ve let the draft go for so long is that I don’t know what I’m doing. That’s not to say that I don’t know how to write. I’ve learned a lot about writing in the last few years. I just don’t know how to write the third part of the Lily Trilogy because the story is going to take an unexpected turn and may end up in a different genre all together. This book is going to force me to grow as a writer, but it is also going to be a challenge. There will still be love, friendship, and romance, but where it ends up may be a bit of a mystery or even create a few legal problems.

But wait… there’s more. Not only am I not sure how to write the story I want to write, it seems the part of the story I have already written may not be the one readers want to read. I’ve only shared the first draft with one person so far. She is one of my dearest, yet most brutally honest friends. She’s been my confidant, biggest cheerleader, and most cherished advisor with both of the first two books. I trust her completely. But right now, she and I are at odds as to how Lily should react to the events in the story. Adopting her point of view could mean cutting tens of thousands of words and reworking much of the current plot. Sticking to my guns might mean that readers are turned off by a main character who is more selfish and abrasive rather than flawed and confused as I intended. It’s my story, but because of that, I may be too close to it to see the issues. Then again, it’s my story. Because of that, I may know the characters better than she. What’s the right answer? Can I find a happy medium? Will I have to cut those scenes I once felt were pure genius in order to make it fit for public consumption? Only time will tell.

There is still one more problem I haven’t discussed yet. I have often heard that when you finish a draft of a manuscript, you should put it in a drawer and leave it alone for a while. The idea is that you will then be able to detach yourself from it and edit it with a more objective mind. You will be better able to “murder your darlings”, as they say, and cut those scenes or pieces that you are so emotionally attached to. The trouble is, when you leave it for as long as I did, you have to read the whole thing over with in order to remember all of the details even though you’re the one who wrote it in the first place. In other words, the editing process has begun again, but it may take a while before version 2.0 is ready to roll out.

So, what was the point of this post other than to inform you that my vacation was rained out? Maybe I just needed to vent. Very possible. But that’s not all. I also wanted to share my journey. I’m not Nora Roberts or Mary Kay Andrews. I don’t knock out several books a year. But I am proof that with hard-work and perseverance anything is possible. If you are an aspiring writer, don’t expect to publish your first draft. Write, re-write, edit. Lather, rinse, and repeat. And with any luck, the final product will be worth the work and wait.

I’m looking forward to sharing the third and final part to Lily’s and Tony’s story. Eventually. I’m not sure how I will feel when it’s all over. I suspect I will miss Lily and Tony. I may even grieve their loss. As silly as it may sound, they have been a part of my life for so long now, that they feel more like old friends than just characters in a book. Maybe subconsciously that’s another reason I’ve been putting off finishing the story. But it’s time. Time to roll up my proverbial sleeves and get to work. I left readers wondering about the mysterious phone call on the last page of book two. We all need closure and another chance at happily ever after. As Tony said, “Once in Love with Lily… Always in Love with Lily.” Time to decide what happens with Forever, Lily.

 

The Best Vacation Ever!

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I have friends who complain about having to make all the arrangements for their family vacations. They book all the flights, all the hotels, and all the tours. All their husbands need do is show up. For many of them, this is a bone of contention in their marriages. I don’t have that problem. My husband is the best vacation planner ever. He does all the work. My biggest concern is how to fit a week’s worth of clothing in a small carry-on suitcase and how to keep up with him as he speed-walks through seven days of jammed-packed, magical madness. Our recent trip to Walt Disney World was no exception to the rule.

img_0561We explored the wizarding world of Harry Potter and spent time with the Simpsons at Universal. We laughed, danced, and got splattered with goo in the front row at the Blue Man Group. After a full day at the Magic Kingdom, we witnessed the 360 fireworks display from Frontier Land and saw Cinderella’s Castle decked out in all its patriotic glory. At Animal Kingdom, Expedition Everest took us to the top of a mountain and Kilimanjaro Safari took us on a trip through the img_0722heart of Africa. We ate, shopped, and polka danced our way around the world at Epcot. Hollywood Studios sent us to the Twilight Zone in the Tower of Terror and through the history of film on The Great Movie Ride. We had lunch in the Beast’s castle, sampled Mexican and German cuisine, enjoyed the music and Shepherd’s Pie at an Irish pub, and were wined and dined at Iron Chef Morimoto’s Asia. And those are just a few of the highlights.

I do buy in to the idea that Disney is the “happiest place on Earth”. It must have magical powers of some kind, because the children didn’t fight. Or at least they fought less than usual and my husband managed his usual lead and averaged thirteen thousand steps a day while still nursing a sprained ankle. As for me…  My ankles swelled and developed what is affectionately called “Disney Rash” from the heat radiating off the pavement. Between the sweat, water rides, and sporadic downpours it felt rather like a week-long wet T-shirt contest and there was nothing sexy about it. And I’m still not certain I won’t end up having a time-delayed stroke from all the colored, flashing lights of the Mickey Mouse bubble blowers I was exposed too on a nightly basis. But, it’s all part of the experience. Good and bad, it’s all woven into the tapestry of memories that will last a lifetime. I’m blessed to have had the time with my loved ones on what the kids are still calling “the best vacation ever”.

How will we—or should I say he—ever top this one? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m going to spend next week getting reacquainted with my couch. I’m going to watch soap operas and start on the pile of books I have left to read. Thank God my kids will be at sports camp for five days, because I need a vacation from the vacation!

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? – Confessions of an Indie Author

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The response to my first book was overwhelmingly good. It seems most of you who read it—other than the science fiction fans who were conned into trying a romance—enjoyed it and said you would recommend it to others. You were Once in Love with Lily, but will you be Always in Love with Lily? That remains to be seen. I hope you will be. I think you will be. I know I am. But that’s the thing about putting out the second book. While I’m incredibly excited to share the next part of the story with the world, I also feel a tremendous amount of pressure. Pressure to perform. Pressure to please. Pressure to live up to the hype of the first book.

As many of my readers know, I’m a middle school Spanish teacher by day. I have no degree in journalism. I didn’t dream of being a writer as a child. I let my vivid imagination play out with play-acting and elaborate Barbie doll dramas. I only start writing several years ago on a dare. Because of my lack of formal training, some doubt my writing ability. One of my best friends recently admitted that she only read my first book because she felt obligated and was completely surprised to find out that the story was actually good. So, I had a lot to prove from day one, to everyone, including myself. The thing is, I’m just as concerned at proving myself with the second book as I was with the first. I love the story. My editors loved the story. But what about the public? I still find myself thinking, “I’m no Nora Roberts. What if the first book was a fluke?”

To add to my anxiety, I’m a people-pleaser by nature. I worry about disappointing my readers. So many people out there have said they loved Lily’s and Tony’s story. They’ve been waiting three long years for the sequel. What happens if the story falls flat? I mean, I laughed. I cried. I lived and loved right along with those characters. I can’t wait to see what happens next. But what if the readers don’t feel the same? Whether it’s my books or my fan fiction, they have come to expect a certain caliber of writing. They want the emotional, romantic, exciting story with loveable, compelling characters. What if I didn’t deliver?

Once in Love with Lily has sold hundreds of copies, four to five times that of the typical independently published novel. It has over fifty reviews on Amazon with 4.9 stars. The reviewers at The BookLife Prize in Fiction had this to say:


Lily cover“A big-hearted romantic melodrama with cinematic movements and charming storytelling makes a familiar trope soar.  In this well-paced storyline, Lillian (Lily) George, knowing her disquieting past, recognizes the value of her current affluent lifestyle until she unexpectedly reconnects with her first love. Zany secondary characters leap off the pages, while the tension created as Lily decides her future keeps readers holding their breath until the very end and hoping for a sequel.”

Alwaysinlovewithlily_Kindle-300ppiWill the sequel Always in Love with Lily live up to the hype? Well, there’s no point in worrying now. There’s only one way to find out. Put it out there and let the public decide. So far reviews are good. But the ball is in your court, romance readers. Go for it! Read it and let me know what you think. You can comment, you can tweet me @catkthompson, or find me on Facebook. Or, even better, leave a review on Amazon, GoodReads, or Barnes & Noble. No need to be prolific. Just click the stars and write a sentence or two. Reviews are what help authors and books get noticed and promoted by the big site algorithms. Every one helps, as does clicking on reviews by others that you find helpful.

In closing, I would like to offer my sincere thanks to my family, my beta readers, and my editors for their support you are the ones who have helped make my writing dreams possible. To my readers, your engagement and enthusiasm help  keep the dream alive. Thank you for being a part of my story.

 

 

 

 

 

Sin City Is Not Just for Sinners

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I have a friend who insists she’ll never go to Vegas. When asked why, the only reason she can come up with is that it’s all about gambling and sinning. Now, I know there is some truth to that. You’re faced with slot machines the second you step of the airplane. You can walk around with open containers 24/7 and… Shhh! Prostitution is legal. But my husband took me on my first trip to Las Vegas last week, and I can honestly say that those things were some of the farthest from my mind. Based on my experience, Sin City is Summer 2015 227not just for sinners. There is truly something for everybody.

If your idea of “the arts” is iconic Vegas burlesque with female body parts and feathers, Jubilee or Fantasy might tickle your fancy. But for those who are true theater-lovers, you can catch any kind of show from Broadway’s Jersey Boys to Cirque de Soleil Beatles Love as we did. You can see old-fashioned song and dance acts like Donnie and Marie. You can enjoy the comedy stylings of folks like Kathy Griffin and Carrot Top, though, I should point out that this is not a personal endorsement. I still have no idea why Carrot Top is famous. You can catch a magic show with David Copperfield or, for the best of both worlds, a magic and comedy show with Penn and Teller, which I would highly recommend.Summer 2015 243

If it’s action you’re after, the options are endless. We drove a Lamborghini, a Ferrari, and an Audi R8 in Lake Mead National Recreation Center, reaching speeds I’m not allowed to mention. We flew in a sixteen passenger plane to the Grand Canyon, rode a roller coaster at New York, New York, and rose 550 feet up on the High Roller, the highest observation wheel in the world. If you’re even more daring, you can sky-dive, zip-line, or bungee-jump. And if you prefer the historical take, visit the Mob Museum and then follow up by learning to shoot machine guns. Summer 2015 205

Once you’ve worked up an appetite, take your pick of restaurants from any corner of the world. Dine on meatloaf and burgers at the American Grille at the Rio, Brioche from Le Café in Paris, or Sushi from Japonais at the Mirage. We did all of the above, but my personal favorite was the five course Hell’s Kitchen Tasting Menu at Gordon Ramsay’s STEAK. Between the Scallop Risotto, Beef Wellington, and Sticky Toffee Pudding with warm toffee sauce and brown butter ice cream I don’t know which would be my favorite. Summer 2015 306

I will confess we did gamble while we were there—for approximately ten whole minutes. But to be honest, we’d have been done after five if we hadn’t been waiting for our free drinks. That’s how they get you! On our trip home the phrase “next time” came up several times. We discussed which restaurants we would re-visit, which hotel we might stay in, and the fact that we still need to take a gondola ride at the Venetian. Oddly enough, which slots we would hit never came up. Because believe it or not Las Vegas is not all about poker, slots, and booze. Sure, it’s there if you want it, but if you have any kind of self-control, you can avoid it and you’ll never miss it. If you’ve never been to Vegas don’t let wild tales of good people gone astray keep you from booking a trip. Trust me, from the Venetian to Caesar’s to Paris, a stroll down the strip is like a trip around the world and whether you want to jump out of a plane or swim with dolphins the opportunity is there. In Vegas, anything is possible. Summer 2015 169Summer 2015 197

Think First and Blow On It

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Kids… I don’t know what’s wrong with these kids today!

This phrase has been uttered by parents and grandparents for generations. As a middle school teacher, I confess, I find myself wondering the same thing. Several times a day! There are lots of theories out there as to what the problem might be. They don’t get enough exercise. They play too many video games. They’re too dependent on electronics. I admit there is some validity to these claims. I subbed for a six grade math class last year and got so frustrated that I literally wrestled a kid’s calculator out of her hand when she tried to use it to multiply 2×2. And just last week I overheard a student in the hallway with his mother. She was helping him to dial the combination on his locker. When it opened, he turned to her amazed and said, “Oh, I had the combination wrong! I thought I just lacked the upper arm strength to open it!” So, that kid obviously could have benefitted from a little physical activity or strength some kind of strength training. But, I maintain that the biggest problem with today’s youth is the complete lack of accountability and common sense. Folks, I hate to break it to you, but it may have started with us.

As a society, we no longer appear to value these assets. We have made it too simple to do something stupid and either blame someone else, or claim that we didn’t know any better. Law makers vindicate people who spill scalding hot coffee themselves and then sue and virtually everything has a disclaimer— everything except my crazy Aunt Earlene. Have you noticed this? The directions to my new vacuum cleaner read: 1. “Do not pick up anything smoking or burning” and 2. “Do not immerse in water.” Why is this necessary? I tell you why. Because someone somewhere once turned to his/her spouse one day and said, “Honey, the pool filter’s out again. Why don’t you take that new Dyson out there and see if you can clean that thing out!”

Have you ever wondered why the little packet of silicon in your new shoe box reads “Do not eat?” Some brilliant individual thought their sketchers were supposed to come with a snack and now we must warn the others!

My sister sent me a picture from the Laundromat where the washers bore this sign: “High Speed Spins – Do not put a person in this washer.” It’s a good thing that label was posted. I’m a multi-tasker. I was totally going to save time by washing my kids and my laundry at the same time.

How about the warning on the flushable toilet brush cautions, “do not use for personal hygiene”? Apparently Swiffer brand wet wipes should also include this warning, because my principal’s kids did exactly that when he accidentally left the box on the back of the toilet last year. They did develop a bit of “irritation”, but being a rational man, instead of suing the company, he recommended that his children pay closer attention the “home care” label next time.

My personal favorite was a warning for a fuel Tank Cap: “Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.” Now, I have never considered doing that. But then, I have one of those fancy new automobiles with the little needle thingy on the dash board to indicate the fuel level. Should we really have to tell people this stuff? For that matter, should A&W really need to advertise: Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I can see that happening as a result of a “double dog dare” in the middle school lunch room. “Dude, I bet you can’t shake that until the lid blows off!” Still, I ask you, is it really the root beer’s fault that middle school kids are crazy? Shouldn’t we expect our kids to know better than that? I don’t think one has to be a scientist to know that gasoline is flammable and soda explodes when you shake it? My six year old knows better. I dropped a bottle of Sprite on the way in from the grocery store the other day and she said to me, hand on her hip, “Mom, I seriously would not open that if I were you!”

Some of these are extreme cases, but my point is, if we want to find out what’s the matter with kids, we have to start by looking at ourselves. Why should we expect America’s youth to be problem solvers or to use common sense when we don’t expect most adults to either? People, it’s time to raise the bar. If you have a youngster in your life, talk to them. Monitor them so they don’t turn play time into an episode of Myth Busters gone wrong. But more importantly, help them learn about safety and making smart choices. Teach them to be responsible for their own mistakes and learn from them. If you take your toddler to Mc Donald’s and he burns his little tongue on his Happy Meal. Don’t just whip out your phone and google a lawyer. Teach him to think first and blow on it!

Insanity Now

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For those of you who were alarmed by the title – no, it is not a counterattack on Susan Powter, the 90’s fitness guru, who encouraged us to “Stop the insanity!” It is, in fact, a tip sheet with advice on what to do and what not to do to win a Humorous Speech contest. Some of you may be thinking, “Don’t compete in the first place!” But that is not my advice. Speech contests, while scary and nerve-wracking, are also entertaining and exciting. Going to a Toastmasters Area contest is always a great networking and educational experience. If you want the additional satisfaction of taking home a trophy, there are a few things you should remember.

  1. Do practice. Practice frequently. Practice out loud. Practice in front of a mirror. Stomp around in your living room to practice staging. Talk to yourself, no matter who’s watching, and no matter how ridiculous it makes you feel.
  2. Do not forget to put the time and place on your calendar and then proceed to forget about the contest entirely until the day before.
  3. Do get a good night’s sleep on the eve of the contest.
  4. Do not assume that six hours of sleep will be sufficient. If you go out with friends and dance until after midnight, chances are, even your new Mary Kay makeup will not be enough to hide the dark circles, and you will not have the energy needed to put on your best show. (Especially if you are old enough to remember Susan Powter in the first place.)
  5. Do everything you can to prepare for the contest in advance, so you can feel confident the day of, and remain unshaken when the competition appears funnier than you.
  6. Do not sweat it. If the contestant before you gives a speech titled “Insanity Now” about suffering at the hands of his wife on a torturous trip to the grocery store, in an amusing accent, with great gestures and expressions… chances are, you’re going to lose anyway. Sit back, relax, and enjoy it!