Tag: Toastmasters

Introducing Cat

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As many of my readers know, I am very actively involved in Toastmasters, a public speaking and leadership organization created to empower individuals and help them to build confidence in these areas. In Toastmasters, whenever you start a new learning path, you are asked to do an Icebreaker speech to introduce yourself. I have shared some of these types of speeches here before. Today I was asked to do another Icebreaker, but since I’ve been giving more typical speeches about myself since 2004, today I decided to introduce someone new: “my other half”. I hope you enjoy, or are, at the very least, entertained by this look into my writer psyche.

Icebreaker speech from Rise Higher Advanced Toastmasters club meeting – July 16, 2022, Learning Path – Visionary Communication

Introducing Cat

My name is Cathryn Kusner Thompson. Or Cat K Thompson as my Twitter friends say. I was born during National Novel Writing Month in 2011. I know what you’re thinking if you’ve done the math. Ten years old? Yes, I look very mature for my age. Don’t let the face fool you. That’s only the teacher who inhabits the other half of my brain. Which makes it sound like I’m some kind of evil soap opera character in a multiple-personality storyline. But I’m actually just her writer personality. I consider myself more than just a nom de plume. There is more to me than just concealing someone else’s identity. I’m Cat. I am the creative side of Mrs. Smith. (You didn’t think I’d share her real name, did you?) While Mrs. Smith pretends to be an “average” mom, middle school teacher, and Toastmaster, I allow her imaginational overexcitability to live and breathe. And because I’m the writer, most people won’t call me crazy. Allow me to elaborate.

While I may have been given a name only a decade ago, in truth, I existed long before that. And, being a writer, I can admit that as a child I played with Barbie dolls far longer than one is supposed to. I also put Barbie through far more than just the usual date night with Ken. My barbie dolls had torrid affairs, unexpected pregnancies, and broken bones from car accidents and falls from horses. They saw more action on a Friday night than an episode of Dallas or Falcon Crest.

Lots of people read celebrity biographies. But when I was young, I, the writer, read them and then speculated about the lost loves and poignant goodbyes with the childhood sweethearts they didn’t tell us about. I invented the backstory to the backstory that was never published. It was like my own version of real-life fanfiction. Oh, I knew it wasn’t real, of course. But say what you will. I know that my love of a good story, a good twist, was born out of those bits of imagined angst and unrequited love. Of course, the summers my teacher counterpart spent keeping a soap opera journal didn’t hurt either.

I must disclose that I often talk to myself. I answer too. In fact, I make for damn good conversation. It truly is the best way to create believable dialog. I do it all the time –talk out what the people in my stories might say. I do it in the shower…while folding laundry…cleaning the kitchen. And my favorite place to chat is in the car. Some of my stories’ most dramatic moments were written while the teacher was driving to school, nose running and tears cascading onto the wheel. Of course, it did make things awkward for her to walk into the school and start class with her eyes red and puffy. I mean, she could hardly explain my “writing process” to the students.

The teacher might have a problem explaining my search history too. But as a writer, it’s perfectly acceptable to research things like, “Can you drink beer with only one kidney?” and “How long does it take for a body to fully decay?”. You can imagine the teacher’s husband’s concern when he found those pages bookmarked.

You see, if she admitted to all those things, people would think her mad. But me? I’m a writer. Writers are meant to be eccentric. And I can get away with quite a lot living behind her façade.

You might think it’s difficult to live a secret life like mine, but it does have its perks. Considering I’ve been able to put my name on two pieces of contemporary romantic fiction. Mrs. Smith gets none of the credit. She’s too busy hiding from a bunch of nosy 8th graders with a propensity for googling and gossiping. Whatever. I’ll take the glory.

And it’s not lonely in my world. Even though I rarely get recognized by “real” people. But I’m the one with a thousand Twitter followers.  Not her. And I have lots of friends. You might call them characters. You might think them imaginary. But they are friends to me. They have hopes and fears. They live and love and grow and change. They have histories and futures. The only tricky part is, that once the third book in the trilogy is done, their story will end. Readers might be left with a sense of closure and satisfaction. But I will grieve their ending. Like a parent sending the child they’ve nurtured off to college and a new life, I will need a new purpose. I will have to make new friends. I will start a new chapter. If you’re a reader, I hope you will join me on my adventure. After all, a writer needs readers. And I just know we’ll all have crazy fun along the way!

The Icebreaker

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18 years ago I gave my first four to six minute icebreaker speech with Gahanna Toastmasters. Tonight I started a new path, Engaging Humor, and gave my 4th icebreaker speech to Grove City Toastmasters. I thought I would share the contents of the speech with all of you just for fun.

Cat K. Thompson – Version 2.0

When you read the information in the Pathways program about how to give an Icebreaker, it tells you to share facts about yourself and to talk about your goals and why you joined Toastmasters. I will admit to you tonight, that when I joined Toastmasters 18 years ago, I didn’t think I needed it. I had no goals. I thought my husband was just going to put my name on the roster so his club could have twenty members. Little did I know, I would be asked to give my Icebreaker two weeks later.

When I gave that first icebreaker, I used one word to describe myself. Teacher. My entire speech detailed my experiences as a teacher. I had taught pre-k, elementary, middle school, and high school kids as well as adults. I’d taught Spanish, English, and Ballroom dance. Being a teacher was how I defined myself. Now, I realize that there is much more to me than that. I’m still a teacher. I always will be. It’s one of the reasons the Toastmasters educational program is so important to me. But I’m many other things too.

I a mom. Which means I spend a good deal of time drinking wine, rolling my eyes, breathing deeply, and talking to myself. Did I mention I have two teenagers?

I’m a romance novelist. You all know that.

I’m a good person, good listener, and good friend.

But apart from any titles or roles, I’m just me. A woman who likes to read romance novels. Cheesy, sappy, predictable romance novels. I like Hallmark Movies too! I have an app on my phone to track which ones I’ve seen. And yes, I watch Christmas movies in July, and October, and November. I’m aware that they all have identical plots and 90% of them star the same actors. But I like knowing that twenty minutes before it ends, they will encounter a problem, the situation will get worse by ten minutes to the hour, and with only five minutes to spare, they will finally resolve everything just in time to get back together and have their first big kiss. Maybe I just like the predictability of them amidst the events of my own crazy life.

I watch soap operas too! I go to soap opera conventions to the meet soap stars. And now that we can’t even do that in person, yes, I have actually paid money to meet with soap stars on Zoom. Multiple times! I watch soaps every day. Even though the stories often annoy me because the writers don’t seem nearly as dedicated to the integrity of the characters as I am. This is why, after only a bit of cajoling from my Soap Twitter Posse, I started writing my own General Hospital Fanfiction. Fanfiction! I always thought that was something desperate people wrote in their rooms alone at night. I guess that means I am desperate, if only for a good story!

So why tell you all of this ridiculous stuff about myself? When I gave that first speech, I think I chose the teacher angle because it made me feel important. My motivation for sharing all of these potentially embarrassing details is that I now realize I don’t need you to think I’m important. I don’t need to impress you. I need to be free to be me and to like who I am. Because if I can’t love myself, who can?

Where do I go from here in Toastmasters? That remains to be seen. But I know I will continue to share the joy of Toastmasters with others so they can empower themselves and change their lives . I chose the Engaging humor path because I might as well have fun along the way. Who couldn’t use a little fun? If I can engage those middle school students that ain’t bad either. I hope I will entertain fellow Toastmasters and readers along the way. If nothing else, I will entertain myself. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.

How Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

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I recently competed in the International Speech Contest in one of my Toastmasters clubs. I was fortunate enough to win not only the club contest, but also the Area and Division Level contests. Last weekend, I had the rare opportunity to compete against the best speakers from eight other divisions in District 40 Toastmasters, one of whom was my husband.  While I didn’t win that round, I can honestly say my speech improved with every presentation and based on the comments I received, it still touched a few hearts and brought a few laughs. Below is the blog version of my competition speech.

How Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

I teach in an affluent middle school with over 1,000 kids and I live with a 5th and an 8th grader. And those children are forever telling me how tough their lives are. Like when I assign them homework or ask them to take a shower… #FirstWorldProblems They think I’m soooo lucky to be an adult. And they’re right. I am very fortunate. But we all know life is never without challenges. Like many of you, I have traveled a pretty rough road.

When I was a baby, my mom called me a spider monkey because I was a long, skinny preemie. I weighed just under four pounds and I spent the first of month of my life in the hospital.

By the time I was one or two, it was obvious that I wasn’t developing quite like other kids. I tripped over my own feet and couldn’t control the left side of my body. I was diagnosed with mild Cerebral Palsy. I was clumsy and awkward. I was the kid who wore special shoes. I was the kid who couldn’t run fast and never got picked for kick ball in gym class. I was the kid voted most likely to get stuck in the ball pit at Sea World. No, really, when I was four, I actually got stuck in the ball pit at Sea world. #TrueStory It took two dumbfounded teenage employees twenty minutes to drag me out!

In high school, one kindhearted young man used to walk by me in the halls and growl “ARGH, me peg-leg! And in Spanish class, they used to draw pictures of Super Chicken on the board with a speech bubble that read, “Me llamo Ana.” They made up a dance and everything. Because they said I walked like a chicken. Needless to say, those things didn’t exactly foster self-confidence. (Side note: Yes, I chose the name Ana so that I could be Anna Devane.) #GeneralHospital

When I was seven, my dad decided to divorce my mom. Since I’d listen to my parents fight for years, it was really a relief to be with just my mom. But that still meant I became the child of a single parent. We no longer had the money to buy the name brand clothes and toys. So, I was not only physically handicapped, I was fashion handicapped too. #TeenNightmare Later, while my college friends were bumming money from their parents to go shopping or out to lunch, I was working multiple jobs to pay for my books, insurance, clothes, and food, and helping my mother pay the rent.

When I do tell my kids stories from my childhood, they tend to stare back in wide-eyed horror. #SpoiledButDontKnowIt And I have to remind them that while I may have hit a few potholes, I also saw some beautiful sights and learned a few lessons on the road of life.

First, I learned to work hard. I learned to studied hard, I showed up and gave my best effort, even on my worst day. I made mistakes, but I learned from my mistakes. I got grit.

I also learned to surround myself with the right people. I wasn’t popular in school. I had about two friends. But those two friends were true friends who loved me for everything I was, and maybe everything I wasn’t. I was also fortunate to find people like my high school English teacher, Debi Mansour,  who gave me my first and only D on a paper. Like most of my students, I thought my life was over. I was so mad at her! It took me a while to realize that she did it because she loved me and knew I was capable of more. It’s thanks to others like her, my karate instructor, my dance teacher, my husband, and my closest coworkers, that I’m reminded to focus on what I can do, what I do well, rather than what I can’t. They believe in me but push me to be better every day.

Lastly, I learned to love and respect myself. I used to think I was a total weirdo because I played with Barbie dolls way longer than most kids and one summer I kept a journal with the happenings of three different soap operas. Seriously, who does that? I still love soaps. I go to conventions to meet the stars. Several times a year. So, I’m a little eccentric. But I realize now the “crazy” are what fuel my creativity and heighten my sense of drama. They’re the things that make me a better writer and a more interesting teacher. They’re the things that make me who I am, the things that make me happy. If others think it’s weird, well… As my grandma used to say, “If they don’t like it, they can look the other way.”

Life will never be without struggles. But be willing to accept the challenges. In the long run, the fight is what builds character. Find the people who challenge you and support you, and if you want to be happy with life, be happy with yourself.

As for me, I’m proud of who I am and what I have accomplished. I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, and a published author. I have learned and taught ballroom dance and earned a brown belt in Kenpo karate. Okay… it’s not a black belt. But I’ve come long way from that timid girl called Super Chicken. Folks, this chicken has crossed that proverbial road, bumpy as it was, and you all can, too. Join me on the other side!

Toastmasters: Where Authors Are Made

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Toastmasters: Where Authors Are Made. Go ahead, fellow Toastmasters. Consult your manuals. Check the Toastmasters International site. No, you are not crazy. The real slogan still reads Toastmasters: Where Leaders Are Made. But I think most Toastmasters would agree that the organization helps us to grow in a great number of ways. We become better speakers, true leaders, and in many cases, real writers. If you google the topic, you will find an assortment of articles and podcasts about it and testimonials from individual members who have become published authors. It stands to reason that Toastmasters would be beneficial to those of us looking to publicize and promote our books. But I’d like to share with you a few of the ways Toastmasters helped me with the writing process itself and allowed me to take Once in Love with Lily from a fun, little National Novel Writing Month project to a published novel.

First, crafting speeches gave me an edge when it came to structuring my story. In the beginning, I struggled with the story arc. While the action was intriguing, it lacked the proper flow. Then one day, my editor, fellow Toastmaster Eileen James, said to me, “Think about how you put together a good speech. You begin by thinking about the end. Where do you want to go with this speech or story? What is the intended ending? Now, how do you get there? Remember to tie the ending back to the beginning to satisfy the audience’s need for cohesiveness.” A novel is a bigger project than a speech, but it still has an introduction, body, and conclusion. Once I started thinking of it that way, I was able to put together a story that was grounded, but showed growth, as the characters learned real lessons.

Second, through my experiences as an evaluator, grammarian, or ah-counter, I learned to become a good listener. This can be very helpful when coming up with ideas for stories. (Consider that fair warning that anything you say can and may be used against you in a future novel!) In addition, it helps to create realistic, natural-sounding dialog. I’ve become accustomed identifying patterns of speech, accents, verbal ticks, colorful quotes or phrases. I’m not that creative after all. I could never have come up with something like “He’s all hat and no cattle.” But bits like that are the things that make characters real and, I hope, make the dialog come alive on the page.

Third, as early as project four in the Competent Communicator Manual “How to say it” we are taught to look at word choice, to choose words that paint a vivid picture and convey the most accurate visual or explanation possible. If I hadn’t known “how to say it”, I might have kept descriptions simple with something like: “As she walked down the streets of New York, she couldn’t help but notice how crowded and noisy it was.” But thanks to my Toastmasters training, I came up with this:

She headed down 8th Avenue through the throngs of people already crowding the streets. “Ah, New York,” she thought. “The honking taxis, the charming street vendors with their poached sunglasses and purses, and the faint smell of homeless that lurks just off the main drag really give it a certain je ne sais quoi.” She crossed the street against the light along with the natives, leaving a gaggle of tourists in the dust. (Excerpt from Once in Love with Lily by Cathryn K. Thompson)

Which example did the better job of transporting you to the streets of NYC? Of course, the second example would be pretty wordy for a typical 5-7 minute manual speech, but in a novel there is room to elaborate.

I can’t say that Toastmasters has taught me much about romance. There is a code of ethics to contend with, after all. But it certainly has helped me to hone my writing skills, to tell a story with a goal or lesson, to depict true-to-life characters and conversations, and to choose the best way to say it when it comes to setting the scene or conveying emotions. I never knew I had an author in me. Maybe you do too. You never know when or where inspiration will strike. When it does, Fellow Toastmasters,  take advantage of your already vast experience. Write it down. Develop it. Tell your own story. Even if you have to publish it under an assumed name! Show the world what Toastmasters has done for you.  If you’re not a Toastmaster, visit a club near you and experience it for yourself. Toastmasters: Where Leaders… and Authors… Are Made.

“You’ll shoot your eye out!”

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The following is an adaptation of a speech I gave several years ago in my Toastmasters club. I found it in an old folder, and it still amused me. I thought I would share.

What’s the Matter with Kids Today? It was a question raised in song in the musical Bye-Bye Birdie. It’s a question that has been raised by older generations for decades. We find ourselves looking at our youth and wondering why they seem to lack common sense. We ask how they have become so entitled, with no sense of responsibility. If you ask me, the problem doesn’t originate with the children. They have not evolved into senseless creatures all by themselves. Today’s children are victims of society. As a society, we no longer appear to value this asset. We have made it too simple to do something stupid and either blame someone else or claim that we didn’t know any better. Law makers vindicate people who spill scalding hot coffee themselves then sue, and the only thing that doesn’t come with a warning label is your crazy Aunt Earlene.

The aforementioned McDonald’s lawsuit was so outrageous that it made the news all over the U.S. You might think that something so ridiculous would cause us to take a long hard look at ourselves, but I’m not sure that discouraged others from filing silly lawsuits. In fact, it may have encouraged it. The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch listed several similar cases.

One homeowner sued the owners of a local business saying that their dust was trespassing on her property.  Of course, once it was established that dust had no legs and could not intentionally trespass, the case was dismissed.

Another woman, a housekeeper, stole what she thought was a decorative candle from a house that she was cleaning. During dinner with friends, she lit the “candle.” It turned out to be a firecracker and caused a small explosion. She later sued her client for leaving the firecracker laying around the house without a warning on it.

A woman leaving the hospital in a wheel chair was pushed into a parking gate. She sustained minor head injuries and sued, not the person who pushed her into the gate, but the manufacturer of the gate.  If you’re going to sue in a situation like that, at least get your priorities straight! The jury rightfully found that the gate maker was not at fault.

Even those convicted of crimes themselves continue to blame others for their problems. In Michigan, a prisoner sued the state because prison food was causing a flatulence problem. The Attorney General’s office estimated that frivolous prisoner lawsuits like that one waste several million dollars in state tax dollars every year.

Maybe they need more warning signs posted in those prison cafeterias. After all, nearly everything else in the US comes with some kind warning. Vacuum cleaners include such directions as: “Do not pick up anything smoking or burning” and “Do not immerse in water.”  Did someone wake up one day and decide to use their Hoover to clean out the pool? Why does the little packet of silicon in your new shoe box read “Do not eat?” Some brilliant individual one day mistook it for a snack. Now, steps must be taken to warn others and avoid prosecution. Once upon a time, there was a site called Wackywarnigns.com which gave several other examples like these. A Laundromat washer bore this sign: “High Speed Spins – Do not put a person in this washer.”  It’s a good thing that label is posted. That way the multi-taskers would know better than to wash their laundry and their children in the same machine. A warning on a flushable toilet brush cautioned, “Do not use for personal hygiene.” Apparently Swiffer brand wet wipes should also include this warning, because my principal’s kid did exactly that when he accidentally left the box on the back of the toilet. Kudos to him. Rather than sue, he suggested his son pay more attention to the “home care” label the next time.

Here are a two more serious warnings:  A fuel Tank Cap warns, “Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.”  A&W soda labels state: Warning: Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. As a middle school teacher, I can see that happening as a result of a “double dog dare” in the lunch room. “Dude, I bet you can’t open that bottle with your eye!” Still, I ask you, is it really the root beer’s fault that middle school kids are crazy?

Why should children think for themselves or try to solve a problem by using common sense when we don’t expect adults to? If you have a youngster in your life, talk to them about what they watch on TV so they don’t turn play time into an episode of Myth Busters gone wrong.  Help them learn about safety and making smart choices.  Teach them to be responsible for there own mistakes. Don’t help your toddler dial a lawyer when he burns his tongue on his Hamburger Happy Meal.  Teach him to think first and blow on it next time.

Insanity Now

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For those of you who were alarmed by the title – no, it is not a counterattack on Susan Powter, the 90’s fitness guru, who encouraged us to “Stop the insanity!” It is, in fact, a tip sheet with advice on what to do and what not to do to win a Humorous Speech contest. Some of you may be thinking, “Don’t compete in the first place!” But that is not my advice. Speech contests, while scary and nerve-wracking, are also entertaining and exciting. Going to a Toastmasters Area contest is always a great networking and educational experience. If you want the additional satisfaction of taking home a trophy, there are a few things you should remember.

  1. Do practice. Practice frequently. Practice out loud. Practice in front of a mirror. Stomp around in your living room to practice staging. Talk to yourself, no matter who’s watching, and no matter how ridiculous it makes you feel.
  2. Do not forget to put the time and place on your calendar and then proceed to forget about the contest entirely until the day before.
  3. Do get a good night’s sleep on the eve of the contest.
  4. Do not assume that six hours of sleep will be sufficient. If you go out with friends and dance until after midnight, chances are, even your new Mary Kay makeup will not be enough to hide the dark circles, and you will not have the energy needed to put on your best show. (Especially if you are old enough to remember Susan Powter in the first place.)
  5. Do everything you can to prepare for the contest in advance, so you can feel confident the day of, and remain unshaken when the competition appears funnier than you.
  6. Do not sweat it. If the contestant before you gives a speech titled “Insanity Now” about suffering at the hands of his wife on a torturous trip to the grocery store, in an amusing accent, with great gestures and expressions… chances are, you’re going to lose anyway. Sit back, relax, and enjoy it!

Jesus, Drugs, and Whitney Houston

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Everyone knows that as a parent you will eventually have to tackle difficult topics with your kids. You assume that as they grow you will have to teach them about smoking, drugs, sex, and other big issues. What no one tells you is that there are no rules as to when these topics come up. No one told me that I would be driving home from a Toastmasters meeting on a Tuesday night with my four and six year olds in the backseat giving the longest, most important table topic of my life.

It all started on our way out of the meeting. Someone had given a speech or a table topic about the dangers of smoking or something. I don’t even recall the specifics anymore. My son began before we even got in the car. I should have known I was in for it. The conversation went something like this:

“Mom, smoking is bad for you, right?”

“Yes it is.”

“But, people in our family smoke.”

“Yes they do.”

“Why? Don’t they know it’s bad for you?”

“Yes. I’m sure they do.”

“Then why do they do it?”

“Because cigarettes are addictive.”

He got in the car and was quiet for a moment. Then it began again.

“What’s addictive?”

I sighed as I eased out of the parking space. I didn’t really want to get into it while driving, because- you should know- I’m a bad driver as it is. I don’t really need distractions. But, you never know how many opportunities you will have to discuss these things with your kids while they are actually listening. At the moment, the kids were strapped into the backseat, a captive audience, so I chose my words carefully, trying to be simple, but effective.

“Addictive is when you have something and you just want more of it, like when you eat chocolate and it’s so good that you just want more of it.”

“Why are cigarettes addictive?”

“Because they have a drug called nicotine in them.”

That satisfied him for a moment, as the sun began to set, the situation worsened. It started to rain and my ever-inquisitive boy continued.

“Drugs are bad for you too, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then why do people do drugs?”

I sighed again as I turned the wipers on.

“Well, because drugs can make you feel good at first and people don’t know how bad they really are. By the time they realize it, it’s too late to stop.”

“Whitney Houston did drugs and she died.”

“Yes.”

Then my daughter got in on it.

“I miss Whitney Houston.”

“It is sad, isn’t it?” (She’s four! Does she even know a Whitney Houston song?)

“Why did Whitney Houston die?” she wanted to know.

The windows were starting to steam up, probably from all of our hot air.  I turned on the defogger.

“Ah… they say she took too many prescription drugs, so you see, even drugs from your doctor can be dangerous if you’re not careful about following directions.” I was feeling pretty good about working that in. But it wasn’t over.

We were traveling down Riverside Drive, a dark and windy road when my daughter hit me with another curve ball. Whitney died. She missed Whitney. So naturally, another death occurred to her, and she cried, “I miss Jesus!”

“Yeah,” her brother said. “Jesus died.” (Thank you vacation bible schoo!)

“Why did Jesus die?” she asked. (I take it back… thanks for nothing VBS!)

I turned up the wipers and tried to focus. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. Rain, headlights, questions. “Well, it is said that Jesus died to save us from our sins.”

“He sacrificed himself for us, right mom?”

“Yes.”  (My wise little boy!)

“You would sacrifice yourself for us, right mom?” (Holy cow! Where did that come from?)

“Yes, honey, of course I would.” (Dear, God, would this drive never end?)

It was pouring by that time and I hit a puddle. They were relentless. We hydroplaned. As I struggled to keep control, my daughter said, “What about dad?  Would he sacrifice himself for us?”

I couldn’t take anymore. “You’ll have to ask your father!” I shouted.

Two minutes later, we pulled on to our street. The kids clamored out of the car and ran into the house as I lay back exhausted in the driver’s seat. And you know, they didn’t ask their father! Part of me wondered why I had been blessed with the tough questions and not him. But I’m thankful that they felt they could ask, and happy that we could be so open with each other. I’m also thankful that I’m a Toastmaster, so that I wasn’t completely panic stricken and was able to formulate somewhat coherent answers. I’m actually hopeful that we will have more of these types of conversations, even if they are at night, in the dark, in the car, in the middle of a monsoon! Oh, who am I kidding? Next time they’re riding home with dad!